A man who "cannot get it together" is a man who has probably not had the opportunity to undergo ritual initiation into the deep structures of manhood. He remains a boy, not because he wants to, but because no one has shown him the way.

— Moore & Gillette, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover

The Problem Young Men Are Facing

  • Lack of positive role models and developmental support
  • Rapidly changing system that doesn't acknowledge the struggles men face
  • Uncertain and unpredictable future (employment possibilities, housing crisis, etc.)
  • Modern influences, such as social media, access to porn and unlimited distraction and entertainment
  • Lack of meaning (purpose, significance, coherence)
  • Masculinity is often portrayed negatively, with little positive guidance offered in its place
  • Support and targeted programmes increasingly go to other groups, while boys and men are falling behind
  • Too much comfort and not enough challenge
  • Less participation in social clubs
  • Reduced feeling of responsibility towards community

Isolation

Identity and role ambiguity

  • Weak sense of self
  • Lack of masculine values
  • Avoidance of social roles
  • Isolation from relationships
  • Rejection of the world because of misaligned values and morals
  • Lack of drive
  • Apathy and anhedonia
  • Individual in search of a collective
  • Depression and nihilism
  • Ideologically determined identity (anti-society)

Manosphere

  • Ego inflation
  • Immature and performative masculinity
  • Persona adopted to mask a lack of authentic self
  • Pseudo-relatedness: relationships with others adopting fake personas, but in reality a greater feeling of isolation
  • Immoral and egotistical values
  • Drive based on material gain and extrinsic motivation
  • Denial of emotions
  • Individualistic
  • Hedonistic happiness
  • Ideologically determined identity

Masculine Development Programme

  • Balanced ego with an integrated shadow
  • Mature and embodied masculinity
  • Integration of personas into an authentic self
  • True relationships
  • Morals and values greater than oneself
  • Drive based on values
  • Emotional regulation and connection
  • A member of the collective
  • Eudaimonic happiness
  • Identity emerges from the authentic self

Today's men face a meaning crisis.

Depression, loneliness, suicide, burnout, divorce and escapism are all rising (Farrell & Gray, 2018; Reeves, 2022). Men are in desperate need of a path: structure, stability, and the comfort of knowing what to do and how to do it. But society has moved away from initiation, a process that gave boys a clear passage into manhood (van Gennep, 1960; Eliade, 1958; Gilmore, 1990). Individualism has replaced community and support (Putnam, 2000; Rosa, 2019). Gender roles have become more egalitarian (Reeves, 2022). Fathers are increasingly more absent from households, and male teachers are rarer (Farrell & Gray, 2018). The clubs and institutions that once offered belonging are now emptying out (Putnam, 2000). So where are men supposed to turn?

They lack:

This gap is currently being filled by social media influencers (Fisher et al., 2025). Whilst there are some great people out there who offer high-quality content, good practical advice and motivation, the online space has been taken over by exploitative manosphere influencers, who offer immature and superficial advice on how to be a man in today's society. Outward displays of manhood are used to entice these young men, who are desperate for any kind of guidance, into imitating this behaviour and subscribing to payment plans that promise to help them get 'there' (Brito et al., 2024). Chasing material possessions, pursuing women purely for sex, total self-reliance and an 'alpha-male' physique (Brito et al., 2024; Fisher et al., 2025) only get them so far, and ultimately disconnect them even further from lasting meaning, from the real world, and from their responsibilities in society. To young men, however, this path looks far better than no path at all, which is the only alternative their environment currently offers them.

But there is a better path: one that offers these young men healthy development and a community, grounded in scientifically backed theories and principles. Having observed this trend in the society around me, I have dedicated the last five years of my life to developing this programme, to counter this movement and offer a way forward. No fads, no idolisation of myself, no sports cars. I don't do this for social media fame or to fund a grandiose lifestyle in Ibiza. I do this because these young men deserve better, and society as a whole benefits when they get it. I offer a Masculine Development programme for young men transitioning into their adult roles in society, grounded in research and theory. Without this transition, men remain in a transitory state, in which they neither let go of their childhood nor fully embrace and embody their adult roles. They are then left feeling the need to prove their masculinity through outward, symbolic behaviours, rather than sitting comfortably in it.

This is a real and growing problem. The gap needs to be filled. It will either be filled professionally, or it will be exploited indefinitely.

In myths the hero is the one who conquers the dragon, not the one who is devoured by it. And yet both have to deal with the same dragon. Also, he is no hero who never met the dragon, or who, if he once saw it, declared afterwards that he saw nothing. Equally, only one who has risked the fight with the dragon and is not overcome by it wins the hoard, the "treasure hard to attain". He alone has a genuine claim to self-confidence, for he has faced the dark ground of his self and thereby has gained himself.

— C.G. Jung
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Do you see yourself here?

The Brawler

Angry at the world, and quick to let it show. Anger has become the only feeling he still has full access to.

The Tyrant

Controls everything around him because he trusts nothing, least of all himself. What looks like strength is really the fear of losing his grip.

The Empty Shell

Numb, withdrawn, going through the motions of a life without being truly present.

The Stone Wall

All toughness on the surface, with no access to what lies beneath it.

The Addict

Chases pleasure, validation and material possessions without ever pausing to ask why. He is trying to fill a hole that no high can ever fill. He overconsumes drugs, alcohol and food to get that immediate dopamine hit, rather than addressing the real issue that lies beneath.

The Eternal Boy

Never truly initiated. Still behaving like he did as a child, regardless of how old he's grown or the position he finds himself in.

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See yourself in one of these? Let's talk.

Begin the Conversation

References